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Saturday, April 19, 2008
Pslam 137:4 "How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land?"
I would like to preface this by saying that this post will be much longer than my first two, because I haven’t written in over a month. It’s been challenging for me to get to a working computer to “get ‘er done” Enjoy!
The above scripture was used in my devotional to refer to, our secular society around us, as a “foreign land”. However, I felt like it was a perfect way to describe how I’ve been thinking when I’m at church, or even by myself. Despite where I am, my circumstances, or the pain and anguish I may be feeling, I am called to worship. Even though it might not be what I want to do at the moment, it’s always a blessing to me after I obey, and I know it blesses God as well. My relationship with Him has grown so much, because of my challenging circumstances that I’ve found myself in. I know that He loves me enough to teach me things, and bring me out alive. I know Him more personally because of it.
This has been the longest and shortest three months that I’ve ever spent. Brin told me that it will feel like I’ve spent a couple of years here, because of all of the things that I’ll experience, in such a short time period. This has become a reality to me. I’ve had to face some of the biggest hurdles of my life, and yet it will leave a lasting impression on me, and change the way I see and think about things. I can’t imagine that life will ever be the same, when I return home.
I would encourage anyone who is considering having missions as a part of their life, to look into doing something like this. It’s been such a blessing for the family that I’ve been staying with, but God has also been doing some great things in my own personal life. It really gives a first hand look at how life would be like on the mission field. Of course it would be different in other cities and countries, but there will be similarities in every place. Even though it’s been a challenging experience, I still have a heart for missions and can see myself doing more sometime in the future. Everyone’s experience would be different from mine, because we are all made to be unique from each other. Although, there will always be challenges, however different they will be.
The last month and a half we’ve moved back to Alamira from Salvador, and moved into a new house. So this trip has been a time of adjustment and change for me. This is a common occurrence in this type of life though. It’s such a difference from the life I was living in Salvador. The two cities are almost complete opposites. From the weather, to the bugs, and the stress level. There are positives and negatives to the two, but it finally seems to feel more like a home here.
I now have my own place, next to the Pflederer’s house. At first I felt lonely living by myself, and I wasn’t used to all the quiet around me. And only a month ago I was longing to have silence and time alone. The enemy always makes us think about what we don’t have. Now it’s starting to feel normal, and look more like home. These next months will be busy, and probably go by quickly. So, I want to fully immerse myself in the present moment, but sometimes I fall into a daydream about coming home. This is completely normal, but I would like to not focus on the future. That is something that people have been praying over, but I could always use more prayer.
Portuguese has been a difficult language for me to grasp. It’s so close to Spanish, that sometimes I get confused as to what words to use. I’ve been able to catch on to what people are saying most of the time, but I have a hard time transferring that to my own communication with them. It’s amazing to me how young minds work. One night in Salvador, all of the families went to the mall to eat out. I needed assistance ordering my meal, and Ella came along to help. I was able to tell her everything that I needed, and wanted changed, and she understood how to translate with little trouble. For some of Ella’s schoolwork we were reading the book “Ella Enchanted”. The book is about a girl named Ella who was given a ‘gift’ from a fairy, to be obedient. So anything that anyone tells her to do, as a command, she has to do it. This “gift” is not always beneficial, but at times it can be helpful. She was told to speak another language, and so she did. If only it would be that easy in real life. However, like the book, Ella and many other kids here have picked up the language really quickly, and without a lengthy lesson.
Although I have yet to learn the native language here, I have started helping teach English at a program here called CDR. I was really nervous to come along side Abilene, one of the teachers, because I felt like I should know more about their language before teaching them mine. However, it’s been so laid back, and fun to go there. In one of the classes I have met some sweet people, and made some friends. I didn’t realize how young everyone was, until they told me their ages, because the people look older here than they do back home. I think the reason for this is because they’re out in the sun so much, and it can age the body very quickly. Most of the students are about 15 or 16 years old.
Two of the students, in the one class, decided they were going to find out where I live, and stop by to say hi. Well, they live about a half an hour walking distance, and still walked up to the guesthouse, which is past our house, to find out where a white girl named Emily lives. Then they walked around clapping, a form of getting one’s attention at a house, without the convenience of a doorbell, to see if I would come out of the house. We invited them for lunch, which is a process in itself, because out of politeness, they can’t accept right away, and they finally agreed to come in. Since then, they’ve come over about three more times, including my birthday. They are so sweet, and very genuine people. The boy’s name is Flitze, and the girl’s name is Anielle.
My birthday was one to remember. First I’ll talk about the Brasilian tradition for birthdays. They essentially make a small cake on top of your head. This is done by throwing eggs at you, the same number of your age, and then throwing flour at you. Then the person who is ‘caked’ hugs all of the people around them. I really wanted to avoid this tradition at all costs. So I asked for the day off, and I was planning on hiding out in my room with all my essentials. I even hid the eggs from the house, under my bed. I guess they really weren’t going to do this to me, since I expressed my disinterest in the “festivities”, but Brin didn’t tell me this until the next day. And she had needed the eggs to make my cake, so she had to buy new ones. The only eggs that I was going to get close to, was the hard-boiled eggs on the dish that was prepared.
My meal consisted of spicy ground beef, with slices of ham, corn and chopped tomatoes, and hard-boiled eggs on top, and all over noodles or rice. There was a side of purple cabbage, more corn, and faroufah, a Brasilian dish. Afterwards we had cake, with my favorite colored frosting, made by Brin, and I blew out my candles with the help of Mia, Ava, and Ella. All of my “surprise” guests, from school, church, and neighbors, sang a song to me in Portuguese. They love singing, and I was sung to three different times. One guy sang and played guitar, and it was funny because I didn’t even remember ever meeting him, but he was there anyways to celebrate my birthday with me. He knew I was American, and thought that I of course would like rap, called hippy hoppy here, so that’s what he performed. It’s the thought that counts.
I sang one of my songs, by request, and then opened my presents. One of my gifts had a card that was signed by my dog and cats names. I mentioned it as I thought it was cute, well a few of my guests were laughing for a while long after. The humor here is a little different, and they laugh at some of the most un-funny things. I believe that most of it stems from the fact that they think we’re weird. The thing I love the most about Brasilians, is how emotional and generous they are. Even though they may not have any money to spare, they well still lavish on those that they love, with what they do have. There are probably not many people that they don’t love.
Josh and Brin gave me a gift of a massage, for my birthday. It was much needed, and very relaxing. Of course things weren’t done the same way they are in North American Salons, but it was enjoyable, and entertaining, none-the-less. When I got back to the house, all the girls took a trip to the club (pronounced clube) and went swimming. I got to lay out in the sun, just like I had wanted, next to a palm tree, and the water was lovely. We spent the evening eating popcorn and watching Anne of Green Gables. It was a perfect evening to an almost perfect birthday. The only thing missing was my friends and family back home.
An on going theme to this, time spent in Brasil, has been patience. I feel like I’m a fairly patient person, and yet God is constantly showing me that my level of patience could improve. What is nice, is that sometimes God puts people in our life that are struggling with the same issues. This is so that we can work on them together, and encourage each other. Brin has introduced the speaker Beth Moore to me. She is an amazing, and vibrant, woman. I have enjoyed listening to her talks on various subjects. Brin and I recently, and purposely, sat down to watch one of her talks, on patience. She mentioned that maybe it’s not the people, who bring out the worse in us, that have the problem, but that God has put those people in our lives, so that we may see what issues we have, that need to be resolved with God’s help. This was a huge concept for me, because it’s so easy for me to blame others, when I get upset, when it may be me who needs “fixing”. Beth Moore said that these people, or types of people, won’t go away, and will keep coming into our lives, until we “get” what God wants to do in us. I believe that God is doing a major work in my life, and is preparing me for the work He has me doing in the future. She also stated that if we avoid conflict, we will never be molded into the beautiful masterpiece that He’s creating us to become. I thought of a great analogy dealing with skincare, being an Esthetician and all. Anytime you start using a new skincare product, you should use it for 30 days. This way you can see if you’re allergic to a product, if your skin responds well or bad to a product. Usually, even if you’re not allergic, if the product is doing what its supposed to, the product will draw up the impurities that are below the surface, to get rid of them. After a little while, the product will do its job and rid your skin of all the dirt, oils and bacteria underneath your skin. In the same sense, God gives us circumstances for a little while, so that the ‘not-so-clean’ things, hiding beneath our surface, will appear, and hopefully be ‘washed away’ from our lives.
I will share with you some of the trials, sweet memories and humorous things that I’ve experienced in Altamira, since I’ve gotten back, and for the first time in my life.
*Betsy and I were driving in the rain one day, and we drove by this guy, who decided he was going to take a “shower” in the rain. He was right next to the road, wearing shorts, soaping up and talking to a friend of his. This seemed completely normal to him, and not at all embarrassing. What a culture change!
*It has rained more in one hour, than I’m used to it raining in a single day. This is really funny because I decided that I wasn’t going to attend a certain college, because I heard it rained so much there. Now I’m living in a rain forest. Our neighbor’s drain was clogged, which caused the schoolroom and my room to flood. My room wasn’t as bad as the schoolroom, but it did cause an over abundance of moisture to build up, thus leading to mold growing. I’ve now seen mold grow in places that I never thought it could grow on, such as glass, plastic, and floor tiles. The schoolroom got a couple inches of water in it though, and the mold looked like white pipe cleaners. God really showed me that I need to grasp the concept of giving over my control to Him. There was nothing I could do to stop the water from coming into my room, and the more I tried to stop it, the more upset I’d get. It was only when I gave up, and put my trust in Him, that I had peace. It was painful, but God came through, as He always does. The next morning, all the water had vanished, and hadn’t ruined anything.
*I absolutely hate taking cold showers, but the heater in my shower doesn’t work. So, for the past month, I haven’t had any choice of what I want my water’s temperature to be. I’m getting used to it, sort of.
*There are spiders living in the fan of my bathroom, that doesn’t work, and they hatch eggs and send their babies out to annoy me and then die. I’ve almost gotten used to walking into their webs, whenever I go to the bathroom, and seeing their little bodies hanging from different areas of my bathroom. My tolerance is certainly going to be so much greater, when I return to the states.
*The Postal Service has gone on strike, our phone barley works, and our Internet is almost non-existent at times. This made me feel like I am back on ‘The Little House on the Prairie’ ranch. My form of entertainment is reading, writing, or playing games. An occasional movie is watched, but even that stopped because the T.V. stopped working for a short time. It’s actually nice to have a simpler life, even though I also quite enjoy the alternative.
*For the first couple of weeks at our new house, everything was consistently breaking, nothing new here. Our only form of transportation was walking, or riding a motorcycle.
*The constant rain here brings the inevitable red mud. This causes the laundry load to grow, and the clothes to become worn out. Brin told me that back home she could give away her clothes, after she stopped wearing them as often, or didn’t like them. Here, they don’t last for more than a half a year, if that, and they fade horribly because we wash them so much, and then dry them outside in the sun. It’s also pointless to buy clothes, in this city, because they are made so poorly, and with cheap material. Sometimes it’s been known for the clothes to tear after one washing.
*I made it out alive, through a 54-hour bus ride, back from Salvador, and a couple hours of being stuck in the mud.
*Mia turned 4. Ellie turned 13. I turned 24.
*Mia is growing and her shoes are witnesses. One day she wanted to wear a pair of lace up shoes, just like Ava was, and she had her mom help her put them on, because it was so hard, since they were too small. She then proceeded to stand up and start waddling and taking very short steps. She said, “I almost said, my feet hurt”. She knew that if she had said they hurt, she’d have to take them off. So she kept them on, even though she wouldn’t be able to take them off, and then play while waddling.
*Sometimes I think about how I’d like my wedding day to be, and come up with ideas, that I store in the back of my mind. I had thought before that I didn’t know who I would have as my flower girls, until now. I mentioned my idea to the girls, and Ava took it so seriously! I told her that I would need to meet a guy first though, and she began to name off people for suggestions. Her ideas were 11-year-old Ben, 14-year-old Luke, 15-year-old Cleide (who is a girl), and Josh, her dad. I don’t think she quite understands the concept of marriage yet.
*Ella and Ava had a ballet recital shortly after Easter, and all the girls were dressed to be like bunnies. They all had to wear white, and have their hair pulled back into a bun. Although I noticed that the last part didn’t happen with every girl. Brasilians don’t usually enforce things too much. The idea of having the girls wear white, was a nice thought, but their clothes didn’t stay white for very long. Their “boom booms” and slippers were orange, from the dirt, by the end of the show. The recital wasn’t completely organized, well it was as organized as it could be, but it was very sweet to watch.
*I’ve started to think about possibly working in a Library, just so I can read stories to kids. Even though I never liked reading out loud in front of people before, I’ve started to really enjoy it lately.
*One night I had my windows open in my room, and I was singing at the top of my lungs, something I quite enjoy, and the dogs outside started howling. I’m not sure if they were doing this because they liked or disliked my singing, or for some other reason. I think other dogs have caught on now, because we’ve had many a howling dog serenade us during the day and night. One in particular likes to yodel.
As I close I’d like to ask you to keep me in your prayers. I’ve been dealing with ring worm, practically since I’ve been in Brasil. It’s very frustrating, and annoying. I’ve been taking medication for about a month and a half with some improvement. I’d just like it to be completely gone. The healing causes it to itch, and that just makes it flare up. Whenever I sweat it gets worse. It’s mainly on the creases of my arms.
I also have a flare up every once in awhile on my lips, from an allergic reaction to a type of chapstick I was using. These things are minor, but can be discouraging.
My body image has been a constant worry to me as well, and I’d like to not think about it so much. I don’t think that my body is digesting food properly and so despite what I do, I can’t seem to loose weight. I have trouble comparing myself to those around me, and right now I’m seeing many skinny Brasilian girls. It’s hard for me to stop comparing.
I’d also like prayer for my thoughts to be mainly on my time remaining in Brasil. It’s easy for me to daydream about people back home that I miss, and then become homesick.
Thank you for your continued support, prayer and encouragement. It means a lot to me.
More to come soon!